Ah man, I'm so mentally exhausted right now... I know what it is, but I just don't feel like being around anyone or anything. I know everything happens for a reason, but fuck, what's the reason now?

Being around people helps me sometimes, but other times it just reminds me of everything that I've lost. My wife, my kiddo, why not me too? I just don't wanna keep going anymore. Why should I? The people that I thought were there for me left a long time ago. There are some people I've gotten close with over the past few months, but not really tbh

Lacey and Miranda seem like really cool people, but what if it's just because I take care of them? What would happen if I went away? Would anyone ever care? The stuff that goes through my head now: would anyone understand? My mom definitely didn't, but hey: she never cared to begin with? My brothers? Just ride or die with my mom's opinion, good or bad. What's the use of even telling them?